Loving Others Into A Loving God

Are you ever in the minority on an issue. No matter what you say, you can not "win" because you are surrounded by a majority that can't see you side of things. What do you do when you are in that situation? Our default is to get offended, to let your flags fly and your words flow with little to no thought. Some of us shut down. The way I've handled things in the past varies. Normally I would begin by shutting down. However, if the right thing was said, it will jab me in the right way and I'll fly off the handle. I'm beginning to see this is not healthy. I'm beginning to see why the church can be an unsafe place, why some leave because they feel attacked.

The following is an experience from today and then a beautiful revealing of Christ that came shortly after my conversation. Keep reading, God showed me some beautiful things this morning.

I met with some youth pastors today and was met with a different point of view, a different theology and could have easily made myself believe I was being attacked. I was tempted to give in to that default of mine, but what would that have accomplished in the end? The moment we begin to embrace the questioning of others and the differing ways of believing the same God is the moment we become a safe environment to discuss. This is the moment we become the church as it was intended to be. I was not attacked but could have easily made myself believe that. We discussed and then departed knowing the bigger picture at stake is that we share in a brotherly love united as one in Christ.

All that to say, this conversation was good for lots of reasons, but I can only help you really see so much from some measly words on some measly website. The rest is for you to wrestle with. And God loves to wrestle.

I was met with a turn-or-burn theology today with good intention. Where I come from and the college I attended, good intention in that theology seems hard to understand. Where these guys came from, it was their custom, their church's understanding and, for some, wrapped up in their denomination. I may be portraying them wrongly but don't mean to.

(The next part is my theology, agree or disagree. I welcome both.) When it comes down to it, this theology gives no room for failure and portrays a divine love not powerful enough to save a life beyond the sin itself. One belief is that for someone practicing homosexuality, they're destined for hell. It is not until they are fully repentant and turn from that lifestyle entirely that they will receive the gift of eternal life in heaven. BUT if they were to slip up again, back on their way to hell they go. It is not until they get to the point of no more struggles in any of those areas that they will make it into heaven.

I guess we're all going to hell! Has anyone ever be an alcoholic? Those who were and have been sober for years know that all it'll take is for them to think they have it made, 'I'm recovered', to get to the point where they rely on self before the church only to fall right back into it. It is a daily process, a daily acceptance into the church that allows us to lean on each other. The turn-or-burn philosophy and a constant begging for forgiveness and repentance (...and hoping to God it works this time!) doesn't represent a God who is love, a God who truly forgives and forgets. They are telling me that philosophy can and should be done in love and I truly believe they are trying.

If any one of us (all of us?) is honest with ourselves, we are all recovering addicts of something. Some are more noticeable than others (such as homosexuality or alcoholism as opposed to performance addiction or looking at porn when you're alone at home), but they carry the same weight. Sin. Is. Sin. Wouldn't a God who is love, die for all sin for those who choose him. One man, one sacrifice, saves one time all things when we declare with our mouth that we believe he has the power to do so and we want to experience it. We don't need to keep convincing him of that. Why would a God who SO DESIRES for us to experience a relationship with him require perfection, when all he needs is a willing heart.

I shared with them a couple in our church who are homosexuals and have been burned by the church over and over again to point that when my pastor wanted to meet with them for coffee, they just knew he was going to ask them to change their ways or leave (turn...or burn). All he wanted to do was get to know them better. This is showing love, this divine love that goes beyond all circumstance and misunderstanding to bring about his ultimate desire for reconciliation with a world so far gone. Sure the Bible says a lot of things are a sin, but we are not defined by our sinful nature, as Paul writes in Romans. It is the sin within us, which is separate from who we are in Christ, that makes us feel like crap sometimes...but by no means trumps salvation.

Some of the discussion revolved around the fact that if they are not at least trying to rid themselves of this sin, then they weren't truly repentant in the first place. If you are like me, many times my sin is not evident until I've stood under love of God long enough that it begins to transform me...all on its own. I don't think that transformation happens right at the words, "Jesus, I accept what you did on the cross." There's a quote by C.S. Lewis, "Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done." Transformation is a daily action of renewing of your mind, understanding that you are in need of a being and a body beyond you, and placing yourself around the church or around those you see as filled with the love of God. Slowly and surely, the truth with reveal itself.

It may take minutes to days for some, it may take years for others. The fact of the matter is that everyone is different in their process of coming into relationships with anyone. So why would this be the same in developing a relationship with our God? And we should enjoy the process, the questions, the wrestling. God loves to wrestle because he loves that we are seeking, that we are asking questions. If someone in a particular sin where it is their lifestyle wants to keep coming to church to experience the body, let him seek. But make sure you surround him with God's love. The love will bring to light their struggles through the process. And, again, the process may take a long time but they know it will be out of love.

Exiting the coffee shop and climbing into my car, I sat and sighed. Looking into my rear-view mirror, I let out an, "Oh my..." of complete awe since I was out in a little town next door to my hometown. I was overcome with emotion (I think it was...love?), rolled down my window to bid good day to one of the homosexual women that these guys were saying was hell-bound just minutes before. I drove one block and had to park because I began to weep. My heart longed for her and felt the hurt of every Christian speaking this message of death into her life. I longed for her to feel loved, to feel accepted into the body of Christ, for her to understand that she is important. Then I longed for every Christian out there to see her the way I saw her right then and there. That she is your sister. Despite the hurt, she has kept seeking out a church where she can be used for the greater good of spreading this divine love instead of becoming a spectacle and outcast. I want every Christian to know the Jesus that took his disciples to Caesarea Philippi and said to them, "upon this rock (upon these failures and perverts and not-good-enoughs, these people in front of you that you see performing sexual acts with goats), I will build my church."

I drove a block to a park. It was perfect weather for a walk and came across a guy with a camera. He greeted me and I asked what he was doing. "For the past year I've been taking pictures of this blue heron. He lets lots of people come up close to it but I feel like it is different with me. It's like I have a relationship with this bird. It knows me and it is like it is saying, 'Yep, I'm beautiful. Take pictures of me!'"

Man, like this bird, people are delicate. The moment we are reckless and come at them swinging, they are going to fly away. Relationships take time. Showing people who we are called to be in Christ takes time. Bringing people to a true understanding of God's love and a self-revealing of a righteous way of living takes time. This guy has been working on this bird for the last year. It knows him well now and it knows what he is all about. It knows the purpose for him being there and it is not intimidated. It is willing to give this man a moment of its time, to share in the beauty of God's creation. God is the same way. He works in the process and takes his time in crafting his children to become who they were originally intended to be. All we are meant to do is help that process along as people slide in and out of our life. All you can do to help that process along is love and pray that they see Christ in that love. Since the scriptures say that God is love, they will see it.

That's all Christ wants and he is willing to hang around until you're ready to pop your head out of the tree line and give him a chance to get close to you. He thinks you're beautiful and wants to show you off to the world!